"BLUE" JIMMY: HOLIDAY HISTORIAN
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| POPULAR 1800's DEPICTION OF KRAMPUS |
BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA
"BLUE" JIMMY: Everyone knows the Santa Claus myth and how it is derived from stories about the actual historical, Greek Bishop of Myra known as Saint Nicholas, the British Father Christmas and the Dutch/Belgian holy man known as Sinterklaas as well as other Winter gift givers whom children in the Western World look forward to seeing at this time of year. A common theme among all these merry men is that they give gifts and treats to good children.
BLIND DOG OZZY: But what about the naughty ones? ... You don't hear so much about that!
"BLUE" JIMMY: You often hear that naughty children get a lump of coal in their stockings instead of treats. But for poor people in 19th century Europe, coal was something pretty valuable. It was like a consolation prize for not-so-good kids. But the really naughty kids got a visit from Krampus, the chained, demon assistant of Santa Claus who is a long standing tradition in European Winter celebrations. Krampus, who is often depicted as a black demon with one cloven hoof and one human foot and carrying a basket on his back, was said to flog children with a bundle of sticks, drown them, eat them or carry them to Hell.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Oh, B**ch!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: This myth, which is common in European Christmas celebrations, is mostly absent in American festivities.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Because Americans always got to f**k with everything!
"BLUE" JIMMY: But he is part of the whole Christmas tradition whether people find him pleasant or not. It only makes sense that if good kids get rewarded, there has to be punishment for the bad ones. A more toned-down version of Santa's assistant is Black Peter or Zwarte Piet, who since the 1800's, is depicted as a black-skinned man in festive Renaissance clothing who is the servant of the various versions of Santa Claus. Of course, in modern politically correct times, the idea of a black man serving a white man has stirred some controversy and there have been some protests in European countries calling for a change in his appearance. Yet, no one is protesting the image of a demon torturing children and dragging them to Hell!
BLIND DOG OZZY: People are f**ked up!
"BLUE" JIMMY: So there you have it! When you tell your kids the Santa Claus story, don't tell 'em only half ... tell 'em the whole thing! And when they complain and whine that they didn't get the exact toy they wanted on Christmas morning, recite this joyous holiday poem ...
BLIND DOG OZZY: "When you sit by the fire on a frosty Yuletide night, the Christmas tree aglow and gleaming with light, Mother in the kitchen all fragrant with treats, and all kindred gather and hug and do meet, tell the tale of the Krampus and with it, much woe ... FOR STRAIGHT DOWN TO HELL ... do naughty children go!!!" -- "Krampus" by Blind Dog Ozzy
"BLUE" JIMMY & BLIND DOG OZZY: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and may all your holiday wishes come true!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
BLIND DOG OZZY: But what about the naughty ones? ... You don't hear so much about that!
"BLUE" JIMMY: You often hear that naughty children get a lump of coal in their stockings instead of treats. But for poor people in 19th century Europe, coal was something pretty valuable. It was like a consolation prize for not-so-good kids. But the really naughty kids got a visit from Krampus, the chained, demon assistant of Santa Claus who is a long standing tradition in European Winter celebrations. Krampus, who is often depicted as a black demon with one cloven hoof and one human foot and carrying a basket on his back, was said to flog children with a bundle of sticks, drown them, eat them or carry them to Hell.
BLIND DOG OZZY: Oh, B**ch!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: This myth, which is common in European Christmas celebrations, is mostly absent in American festivities.
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| SINTERKLAAS CELEBRATION FEATURING KRAMPUS CHARACTERS |
BLIND DOG OZZY: Because Americans always got to f**k with everything!
"BLUE" JIMMY: But he is part of the whole Christmas tradition whether people find him pleasant or not. It only makes sense that if good kids get rewarded, there has to be punishment for the bad ones. A more toned-down version of Santa's assistant is Black Peter or Zwarte Piet, who since the 1800's, is depicted as a black-skinned man in festive Renaissance clothing who is the servant of the various versions of Santa Claus. Of course, in modern politically correct times, the idea of a black man serving a white man has stirred some controversy and there have been some protests in European countries calling for a change in his appearance. Yet, no one is protesting the image of a demon torturing children and dragging them to Hell!
BLIND DOG OZZY: People are f**ked up!
"BLUE" JIMMY: So there you have it! When you tell your kids the Santa Claus story, don't tell 'em only half ... tell 'em the whole thing! And when they complain and whine that they didn't get the exact toy they wanted on Christmas morning, recite this joyous holiday poem ...
BLIND DOG OZZY: "When you sit by the fire on a frosty Yuletide night, the Christmas tree aglow and gleaming with light, Mother in the kitchen all fragrant with treats, and all kindred gather and hug and do meet, tell the tale of the Krampus and with it, much woe ... FOR STRAIGHT DOWN TO HELL ... do naughty children go!!!" -- "Krampus" by Blind Dog Ozzy
"BLUE" JIMMY & BLIND DOG OZZY: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and may all your holiday wishes come true!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
