"BLUE" JIMMY: OCCULT HISTORIAN
BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA
"BLUE" JIMMY: In previous blogs I have written about the "Bizarre Origins Of Christmas" and "Krampus: The Punisher Of Naughty Children." On this glorious Christmas, I will further explore Christmas traditions they don't teach you in school.
BLIND DOG OZZY: F**k, yeah!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Although there is some dissent on this story from a handful of anthropologists and historians, I am gonna stick to the more interesting facts which I find, are based on meticulous research from reliable sources. The lowdown is that the Christmas Tree, Santa Claus, reindeer and the gifts which people place underneath the tree have very old origins which would shock most church-going folks. In Siberia and other Arctic regions during the winter solstice, native shamans would go out to collect the amanita muscaria mushroom which readers of "High Times" will tell you, is highly hallucinogenic.
BLIND DOG OZZY: I'm trippin' man!
"BLUE" JIMMY: These mushrooms were highly-prized by Arctic people who used them for spiritual purposes and probably to blow their minds on those long, winter nights. The shamans who went out to collect these mushrooms would wear red and white outfits to mimic the distinctive colors of the amanita muscaria.
These mushrooms thrive underneath pine trees and when seen in clusters, resemble colorful gifts on Christmas morning.
The shamans would sometimes hang the mushrooms to dry on the branches of pine trees and one would be reminded of ornaments on a modern Christmas tree at first glance. Then the shaman, with his sack full of hallucinogenic mushrooms, would deliver them to people in their yurts which were the huts which Arctic people lived in. Their doors were often blocked by snow and the shaman would have to deliver the goods through the chimney.
BLIND DOG OZZY: It all sounds familiar!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Since these mushrooms were highly toxic in their raw form, they had to be dried in sacks which people people would hang near the fire. The shaman (dressed in his red and white garment) would then travel to his next delivery in a sled pulled by reindeer. The reindeer have their own story: They are known to seek out and eat the mushrooms which grow underneath the pine trees and afterward would become very perky and their jumping movements would, to the casual observer, look as though they were "flying."
BLIND DOG OZZY: I'd be flying too, after a belly full of 'shrooms!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: A curious twist in this interesting saga is that the hallucinogenic properties of the amanita muscaria is excreted in urine and a more filtered and enjoyable form of the mushroom can be experienced by drinking the urine of a person or animal which has consumed it. Yes, people would drink urine and even eat the snow where a mushroom eater had urinated to get "experienced."
BLIND DOG OZZY: Pee drinking and getting high on 'shrooms? ... Christmas just got a whole lot more interesting!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
BLIND DOG OZZY: It all sounds familiar!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Since these mushrooms were highly toxic in their raw form, they had to be dried in sacks which people people would hang near the fire. The shaman (dressed in his red and white garment) would then travel to his next delivery in a sled pulled by reindeer. The reindeer have their own story: They are known to seek out and eat the mushrooms which grow underneath the pine trees and afterward would become very perky and their jumping movements would, to the casual observer, look as though they were "flying."
BLIND DOG OZZY: I'd be flying too, after a belly full of 'shrooms!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: A curious twist in this interesting saga is that the hallucinogenic properties of the amanita muscaria is excreted in urine and a more filtered and enjoyable form of the mushroom can be experienced by drinking the urine of a person or animal which has consumed it. Yes, people would drink urine and even eat the snow where a mushroom eater had urinated to get "experienced."
BLIND DOG OZZY: Pee drinking and getting high on 'shrooms? ... Christmas just got a whole lot more interesting!!!
"BLUE" JIMMY: Sake's Alive!
BLIND DOG OZZY: Wow! Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com
