HELL OF A HALLOWEEN!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  HALLOWEINER

BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  People often ask me why I celebrate Halloween so enthusiastically.  "Do you want to be a kid again?" they ask.  "Do you like costumes and candy?"  they ask again, before they get an earful from the MASTER OF HALLOWEEN!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And that one guy at the Halloween store who got an elbow to the throat!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The lowdown is, Halloween is the most ancient holiday celebrated in the Western World.  Before kids came knockin' at yer door looking for a Snickers Bar, this time of year was celebrated by The Ancient Ones as the end of the lunar year.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The New Year's Rockin' Eve for those ancient people who were close to the earth and followed seasonal cycles!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Ancient people developed the idea that on the the last day of the year, barriers between this world and the next were lifted and it was considered prime time for divination, fortune telling and necromancy ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Communication with the dead!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Ancestor worship is common in many parts of the world and people go apes**t at this time of year to honor The Dead.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Dude, don't go to East L.A. this time of year! ... People put on that Dia de Los Muertos makeup all over their face and remind me of my Tia Marta with a hangover!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  All Halloween traditions such as putting on costumes, playing pranks, trick or treating and doing scary s**t have origins that date at least to the middle ages or further.  Here's a few Halloween traditions that aren't so kiddie - like in origin:     

•  Scary costumes -- Since people believed that souls of dead people were passing through this world on the way to the next, putting on scary masks and costumes were thought to repel annoying, unwanted spirits from around your house -- Who wants a bunch of dead people hanging around?
• Jack o' lanterns -- A man named Jack tricks and then makes a deal with Satan to never take his soul, so upon his death, he was too wicked to go to heaven and couldn't go to hell so Satan made him wander this world holding a lantern made from a turnip with a burning coal from Hell inside.
• Witches flying on brooms -- Actual witches were experts on the use of medicinal herbs and plants and would produce an ointment from the toxic belladonna plant which would produce the sensation of flying if absorbed into the mucus membranes.  The best way to do this was to smear the ointment on a broomstick and straddle it and allow the hallucinogenic ointment to absorb into the witch's vagina.  Thus, the image of a witch straddling a broomstick and "flying."  

 BLIND DOG OZZY:  WTF!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The point is, Halloween did not originate as a harmless kiddie holiday but has deep, ancient, strange and exotic origins and continues to evolve and add various practices to this day -- There is a sense that anything can happen on this night!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And if you scare the s**t out of the neighborhood kids good enough and they're afraid to come into your yard, you have lots of leftover candy for yourself!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!  And Happy Halloween!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

   

 

 

MAGNETIC GIRLS AND STRONG MEN!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  INVESTIGATOR OF THE BIZARRE

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

LULU HURST

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I hope nobody came to this blog expecting anything of a ... ahem, risque'  nature! ... "MAGNETIC GIRLS AND STRONG MEN!!!"  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  DUDE, I have a Beta video tape from the 80's with that same title!  I think it had Tracy Lords! ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  No, no, no, this article deals with young girls in the late 1800's who turned the scientific community on it's head with demonstrations of paranormal powers!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Yeah, ... right! ... (wink, wink!).  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The whole s**t started with a young girl named Lulu Hurst in the late 1800's, who started giving demonstrations in the Southern and Eastern United States of  "magnetic powers" where in an entertaining sideshow, she was able to lift men off the floor, toss them about the stage and defy their strength in incredible ways.  She toured  the United States and Europe and performed in front of  aristocrats, royalty and MEN OF SCIENCE who were amazed and unable to explain her abilities.   

   

BLIND DOG OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  She quickly became one of the most famous people in America and like anyone who comes across a good thang and starts makin' cash, she spawned many imitators who not only stole her act but even her name!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Thieving  b***ches!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The most successful of these was probably the teen-aged Dixie Haygood (aka Annie Abbot)  who at one performance, happened to encounter The Great Eugene Sandow in the audience (who billed himself as THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN)  and proceeded to  make him look like a weakling!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Man, that's embarrassing!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  These girls all claimed that they possessed supernatural or "magnetic" powers which they somehow mysteriously acquired when they were children.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I could lick my under parts when I was 3!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  These girls fooled many people, became famous and made a lot of money but they were eventually exposed as frauds by none other than early practitioners of the martial arts of which there were only a  handful in Europe and America at the turn of the 20th Century.  Chief among these were practitioners of Jui Jitsu, a Japanese martial art which utilizes joint locks, throws  and choke holds which was developed in times of war where punching and kicking were ineffective due to the body armor worn by warriors.  

ARMORED WARRIORS

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You had to throw muthas to the ground and break their bones and choke them!!!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Martial artists like these recognized that the "supernatural" feats these girls displayed were really the work of  leverage and center of gravity techniques martial artists had been using for centuries which allowed a small person to defeat a larger person in combat.  One of these was E. W. Barton - Wright (1860 - 1951), who studied Jui jitsu in Japan and developed a martial art he called "Bartitsu."  

E.W. BARTON - WRIGHT'S BARTITSU

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Which is the martial art Sherlock Holmes uses in the books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and the films starring Robert Downey Jr. -- Hiiii Yaaaaa!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Many expos'es were written (some of which still remain in print to this day) but most accounts say that the girls remained as popular as ever just because people wanted to see for themselves what these girls were doing.  This in itself, is a strange phenomenon.  Today, there is almost no magic trick which hasn't been explained in print or shown on YouTube yet, people still flock to magic shows because they ... 

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... Got to see it for themselves! ... Ohhhhh!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I call this the COGNITIVE DISSONANCE RUSH  whereby, people who have a certain value, idea or belief  are confronted with contradictory information which blows their mind -- and they enjoy it!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Less discriminating people refer to it as a MINDF**K! 

 "BLUE" JIMMY:  Word is, that the novelty eventually wore off and audiences became less cooperative until the girls had to cancel tours and retire.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Just when things was getting good!!!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  The point is that we as humans, want to believe that people have talents, abilities, powers that are beyond the norm and we cheer them on like our kids at their Little League game no matter how badly they do!  I think this is a good thing!  I'm all about human potential!  I believe we do have these powers, but we have to sift through the frauds, fakes, con artists and bulls**ters to find the real gems who really got these abilities!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And I'm pretty sure it ain't the lady behind the 7- Eleven with the scary statue of Santa Muerte in her window ... F**k!!!
  
"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com